Your server deserves more than $1.30 for carrying out six drinks and having to witness you trying to force them down. If Bubba Ray and Belva Kay each order three margaritas and nothing else, their bill will be about $6.50. They are busting their asses carrying dollar drinks to cheap assholes (no offense) and probably not making much money doing it. However, if you do decide to go to Applebee’s and get trashed on cheap margaritas, think of the servers. That margarita is going to disappoint you more than I disappoint 95% of my customers. Just because someone in the corporate boardroom of Applebee’s came up with this October promotion doesn’t mean that $1 margaritas are a good idea. So, Applebee’s customers, I want to give you some advice: aim higher. (You can click here to watch my Facebook Live video of me having lunch at Applebee’s just a few months ago.) If an $8.00 margarita tasted that bad, what the hell is one that costs a dollar going to taste like? True, I have never had the dollar margarita at Applebee’s, but I have had the regular priced one and it tasted like sour mix and Splenda blended with ice and a tequila-flavored Now and Later. I bet you a dollar that his Gatorade margarita was better than the dollar one you buy at Applebee’s. Seriously, they’re a dollar, so what do you expect? My husband once told me that when he was in college, he and a friend made margaritas out of the closest thing they could find to margarita mix at 7-11 and they used Gatorade. For you customers it’s scary because those margaritas are gonna suck. For the servers, it’s terrifying to see customers like you clawing at the front door for cheap margaritas like a pack zombies desperate for more brains. As we near the the 31st of the month and are surrounded by frightening witches, spooky goblins and sexy versions of every occupation known to mankind, there is only one thing that can make this month even scarier: $1 margaritas at Applebee’s. So don’t even think about bringing any back to the office after lunch.October is upon us and Halloween is rapidly approaching.
The Dollarita is made from well tequila and a pre-made Margarita mix, and is served on the rocks “all day, every day” for dine-in customers only. Just don’t expect anyone to enjoy truly legit margaritas as they scarf down chicken quesadillas, mozzarella sticks and “double crunch bone-in wings” at the Applebee’s bar. “We first introduced the Dollarita to America last October, and we’re excited to bring it back in April as a reason to celebrate the return of spring.”
“Margaritas are extremely popular with our guests, and our Dollarita is the most refreshing drink money can buy,” Patrick Kirk, vice president of beverage innovation at Applebee’s, said in a statement. But now they’ve gone back to the well (quite literally) with the triumphant return of the Dollarita.
The casual chain first unveiled these super-cheap margs last October, and when tequila-fueled riots didn’t break out amid its happy hour barstools, Applebee’s unleashed the even more diabolical $1 Long Island Iced Tea, the $1 Bahama Mama (aka the “Dollarama”) and a comparatively upscale $2 Absolut vodka lemonade, for similar month-long promotions.
So it’s with some caution that we relay this bit of booze news: Applebee’s is offering $1 “Dollaritas” for the entire month of April. In less capable hands, however, it’s an overly acidic glass of green hell than burns your throat and prompts you to switch to more dependable Mexican fare - like, say, a shot of good tequila chased by a cold can of Tecate. When made with love and care, the mega-popular cocktail typically comprised of tequila, triple sec and fresh lime juice goes great with a basket of chips, a bowl of guac, and a beautiful sunset.
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